What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 03.07.2025 01:37
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
TEXT:
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
What is after school detention like in your school?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Kuorans, what are some things unique to your country?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
What is a real life example of the Streisand Effect?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Necessitatibus magni nemo ut voluptatem dolore natus.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
What is your best forbidden sex story that felt so right?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
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Make Nazis afraid again!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
What does it mean when you dream that your mother died?
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Shameless vixen! Trollop!